The Giant Space Snail

(fiction)
The space snail floated next to the sun, from the distance we could look at it without burning to a crisp it looked small, almost like a garden bug.
In actual size it would span a few hundreds of kilometers in length.
It also moved like a snail, crawling in the emptiness of space, slowly pushing itself across the size of the sun.

The space snail seemed to be indifferent t the largest and hottest place in the solar system. It simply kept slowly gliding next to it. From time to time it would stop and look at its surroundings, kind of missing the huge ball of fire just next to it.

The scientists calculated the space snail trajectory. Within at least a few years it would reach the earth.

In earth everybody was so furious celebrating the apparition of “sentient life” from outer space. Others busied themselves killing each other and yelling about the end of the world, pretty much unaware of a humongous giant space snail crawling next to the sun.

After a few weeks of slow crawling it kind of reached a point where it almost escaped the hottest zone of the heat, and all space agencies readied to send space probes to meet the space snail, whilst politicians assured that the space snail would be happy to have some friendly contact from humanity.

And as soon as the first probe launched (and that was before the announced launching date) the rest of the countries shot their own probes almost in concert. Many of them were launched before they were truly ready.
Of course more than half missed their targets and some exploded mid-air, others simply failed to launch in undramatic ways. Out of the few that actually launched only the usual suspects got their space probes working with no obvious flaw. Almost as if the smoke goblins that live within the machines skipped their machinery (probably because of the immigration laws)

In any case, only a few probes were launched and the were en route directly to meet the giant space snail from outer space completely unencumbered.

And in that moment, the space snail decided to turn around and go away, as if it had remembered it left the pot in the stove, it simply turned around (slowly, like a gigantic snail) and started gliding elsewhere and accidentally spoiling a few months and several millions of earthcoinz in the process.

Of course the politicians decided to claim victory against the great space menace.

-Zaidazadkiel

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